For me, being genuinely grateful means learning to begin with gratitude, regardless of the moment. If I begin with an assessment of the moment, “Is this good or bad, frightening or enjoyable?” I won’t get to genuine gratitude. Instead, my gratitude gets determined by my assessment of how the moment may affect my comfort.

teaching momentPema Chodron provides a broader perspective. “Generally speaking, we regard discomfort in any form as bad news. But for people who have a certain hunger to know what is true, feelings like disappointment, embarrassment, irritation, resentment, anger, jealousy, and fear, instead of being bad news, are actually very clear moments that teach us where it is that we’re holding back. They teach us to perk up and lean in when we feel we’d rather collapse and back away. They’re like messenger that show us, with terrifying clarity exactly where we’re stuck. This very moment is the perfect teacher, and lucky for us, it’s with us wherever we are.”

Each day presents me with opportunities to open up or shut down, to lean into the moment or shy away from it. I have to remember that awareness is nothing more than noticing that choice. It’s always right in front of me. The moment comes and goes. Leaning in has its lessons. So does shying away.