The Board, as one, lurched forward, stunned. The townspeople gasped, riveted, but confused.

David paused, then continued quietly, “This is my proposal. Plans may proceed as proposed; a road may be built over my plots, with these conditions. When the road is laid out, I want a speed bump built into the road over the spot where I shall be buried. When I die, I will be buried in my plot under the road, and the speed bump will be over my resting place. Next to the speed bump I want a sign erected at eye level to drivers. The sign will include a statement of my choice, my name, and my birth year. When I die, the year of my death will be engraved and that will be my headstone.  I have here the statement I would like included on the sign.”

He handed a small stack of papers to the board member at the end, who passed them down the line. Each read the statement as they got their paper. Three board members chuckled, two looked genuinely baffled, and the remaining three scowled and glared at David.

“What does it say?” someone from the audience finally asked.

Chairman Knolls, one who had chuckled, stood, cleared his throat, and began.

SPEED BUMP RULES

  • Slow down
  • Loosen your grip
  • Take a deep breath
  • Lean into the moment
  • Be a speed bump for someone else

David Allen Murphy

Born: March 17, 1964

A long silence followed.

“I like it!” Birch Loomis chirped.  Her interruption of the silence was then followed by a chorus of “Me, too’s” and “So do I’s.”  There were a few “I don’t know’s” mixed in, but the affirmatives quickly swept through the room.

Board members looked desperately at each other, mumbled a few things, nodded, and stood. Chairman Knolls announced, “The Board will recess for a short private session.” Before anyone could object or ask about a policy for doing such a thing, the board filed out the door to their left.

The room was left abuzz. People stood and stretched and then gravitated into small groups as if pulled by hidden magnetic fields. One group swarmed David, patting him on the back, hugging him, shaking his hand. Others talked and shook their heads as if they’d gotten the news that their dog had been run over.

After 15 minutes, which seemed a very short or a very long time, depending on which group you had gravitated toward, the Board filed back into the room. All sat except Chairman Knolls. He remained standing and announced, “By a split decision, the Board has decided to approve Mr. Murphy’s proposal.  Plans will be revised accordingly and proceed as originally proposed.”

A cheer went up from a majority of those in attendance. Others filed out with the same head-wagging gloom they’d had during the board’s discussion time. David shook Chairman Knolls’ hand and exited the room quietly before anyone could corner him.

Part VII, the finale will be available Monday.