just enough light

From the time I was 11 until I was 16, my family lived in a house that had a small creek that ran along the back of the yard. It was just a tiny little creek that in most places you could just step over it. During the East Texas spring we had plenty of […]

When I was very young, I was terrified of getting a shot. I don’t know where that came from. It might have been as simple as hearing one of my parents say, “I hope this won’t hurt much.” All I know is that whenever I was to get a shot, I threw a screaming, thrashing […]

I felt restless yesterday. I paced around, my mind jumped around, I expended a lot of energy being busy but not being focused. It was not until this morning that I sat still long enough to pay attention. I had judged those thoughts and feelings yesterday as “bad.” I paced around thinking I should do […]

We label things out of necessity. How difficult daily life would be without labels for things and experiences. “I’m going to pick up this object that has a substance for cleaning my teeth and I’m going to squeeze it onto this other object with bristles…” We need labels to make our lives manageable. But labels […]

When Jesus admonished his followers to not judge, lest you also be judged, I always assumed that was just about not judging people. The short version is, “Don’t call someone an idiot. That’s a judgment.” Of course, I would often then mutter to myself, “No, it’s just telling the truth. “ OK, maybe it was […]

Stillness is difficult, still. Mental chatter still takes most of my attention. For the next few days I want to identify the chatter of judgments, labels, and explaining things away rather than listening carefully and seeing clearly. Richard Rohr is one of my current favorite thinkers and writers. He is currently experiencing the 40 days […]

Letting go of the outcome is a lesson I have to relearn at every turn. It’s one thing to have the concept. It’s quite another thing to put it into action. Isn’t that the way life is? Most of our important lessons are learned once, but the implementation is a challenge with every new decision. […]

One of the many lessons I learned from that experience at Homer Lake (the previous post), and many experiences since then, is the importance of letting go of outcomes. Did I make the right choice from that long day at the lake? Who knows. I’m still living with that decision that keeps unfolding each day. […]

I awoke at 3:30 this morning and was unable to get back to sleep. My mind started working. I had several thoughts about the chatter I’ve been describing, and then I recalled a time when I was able to distinguish between the chatter and something deeper. So I got up and wrote part of this. […]

This is the fifth in a series. Stillness is difficult. I want to sit still and do it “right.” When that doesn’t work after about 30 seconds, I want to get up and do something else. Then I decide to give it a few more minutes. When I realize my mind is still jumping around, […]