leg achesI had intense leg aches when I was a kid. I did not feel them during the day when I was up, active, running and doing all the things that kids do during the day. But when I got in bed, stopped moving and tried to relax, my legs began to throb. I sometimes cried, and my mother patiently rubbed my legs until the throbbing subsided. She assured me I was OK, it was part of growing up.

Like most kids, I wanted to be bigger, older, stronger. When I was in the in second grade, I wanted to be like the sixth graders. The idea of growing up was exciting. The experience of growing up, however, was not so much.

I did not know at the time that the leg aches were a sensory signal I was growing physically. My bones were lengthening, and my muscles, ligaments, tendons, and all those other supporting soft tissues were trying to keep up. But the effort of all those parts building new tissue was painful.

Pain, both physical and emotional, gets our attention. As long as I am comfortable and content, I don’t want anything to change. In fact, I will go to great lengths to not upset the equilibrium and maintain the comfort. Pain does not let me be content, so I ignore it when I can.

If I am busy during the day, scurrying here and there, occupied with important things or useless things, I am not likely to pay attention to what is going on inside me. It is only when I stop, when I get still that I am likely to notice that something is not right. In my moments of stillness I am most likely to experience moments of great contentment as well as feeling the tears well up.

Emotional pain comes from disappointment, from loss, from old tragedies I have ignored, abandonment, betrayals, or simply the changes that come with growing up or growing old. Each of these involves leaving behind something that was comfortable and familiar, and being pushed into something that is unknown.

Like most people, I’m good at ignoring these pains until they will no longer be denied. Then they hurt like hell, and they are far scarier. If I have ignored them long enough and effectively enough, I can no longer attach the pain to the event that caused it. Then the pain feels useless and random instead of teachable.

Leg aches were signs of physical growth taking place. Emotional pain signals a growth possibility. It gets my attention, lets me know that there is something important I need to pay attention to.  It’s up to me whether I grow from it or not.